Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
