...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
