I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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