did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
