it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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