some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
