batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
