I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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