The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
