He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
