I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
