it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
They are going to name an STD after you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
