If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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