I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
