I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize