im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
