I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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