i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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