I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
