Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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