I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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