One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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