you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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