HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
