Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
