Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the condom got lost in my hair
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
