My nipple is on Facebook.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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