He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
