if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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