My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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