remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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