She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
