Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
