oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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