I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
