Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
