we have officially lost it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
