i can't believe i had my finger in that
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
