Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
