I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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