today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize