your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
