Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
