Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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