Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
