I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
