i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
