Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize