And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
