I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
