I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
