I didn't shave. On purpose
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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