my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
