i will never coherently bang her
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
