Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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