yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
