'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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