grandma shit on top of the toilet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize