is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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