Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
