I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
