So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
