too bad you live with your parents still
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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