sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize