Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well you can't waste a boner
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
