This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
