guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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